• Paula M

How to quickly spot a psychopath?

Are you dating a psychopath? Maybe you think you would know it immediately from the evil glow shining in his eyes. But no! Psychopaths can look quite normal and look like Prince Charming at first. So unless you know the signs of it, you will likely find yourself stuck with a psychopath, not knowing it until when it's too late.

Here are 10 signs that will help you quickly identify a psychopath.

  • Lots of compliments

Psychopaths act quickly. On the first date, he'll probably tell you that you are stunningly beautiful, incredibly smart, and super funny. He will play with all your fantasies and all your weaknesses. If you find yourself fat, he will tell you how much he loves your body. If you think you're shy, he'll laugh at each of your weak attempts to be funny and tell you that you should have been a comedian. It's called the "love bombardment." This is the idealization phase where it gets you hooked, and it’s that phase that you will try for months, if not years, to recover once it abruptly ends.

  • “He/she is just like you”

Psychopaths try to convince you that you are soul mates. He likes the same things as you and you share the same interests. If you've had a tough childhood, he'll say something like, "It hasn't been easy for us. That's why we understand each other so well." If there's a little-known book that you love, he'll make sure you love it too. What it does is called the "mirror effect". The psychopath doesn't really have an identity of his own, so he appropriates yours and reflects it back to you like a mirror.

  • “Play the victim”

On your first dates, pay attention to what a psychopath says about his exes and the people in his life. Is his ex-girlfriend/boyfriend crazy and harassing him? Has someone else stung everything? Is his mother a horrible bully? Does he seem to have a hard time with people, who always use it before giving it up? Whatever he says about the people in his life will be more or less exactly what he says about you one day, so listen carefully.

  • Illnesses and injuries

Psychopaths love pity so pay attention to how many illnesses and injuries he has had. Did he miraculously beat cancer but it might come back any minute? Did he break his foot the day of your second date, which forced him to cancel it (but oddly, he was fine on the third)? Did he lose his first wife in a car accident in which he suffered a head injury (and yet he walks without a problem and looks like he's in great shape)? Try to verify his claims - call the hospitals if necessary - but don't be surprised if he has an excuse as to why his trauma can't be found anywhere.

  • Great sex

Everyone wants to have great sex, but those who have been with psychopaths often say that they are the best they have known. A psychopath does anything to satisfy you. It's just another way to get hooked. Once it's done, you'll find yourself begging him to have sex because suddenly he doesn't want to.

  • “Random revelations”

Sometimes a psychopath will blurt out something weird about them in an unexpected moment. For example, you are preparing dinner and he suddenly says to you: "I'm crazy, you know" or "I'm cheating on you". Then he'll deny saying it or pass it off as a joke. One way to destabilize yourself - but also perhaps an unconscious way to reveal your true personality.

  • punishment”

Once psychopaths get you hooked with their "love bombardment" and "idealizing" phase, then they start to devalue you. The first step usually is to inflict "the silence treatment" on yourself. Psychopaths are also known to disappear for several days in a row. However, each time they will blame you, when in reality, he is looking for his new prey somewhere.

  • Triangulation

Psychopaths love to make you obsessive about them; they do this by placing you on a pedestal, making love to you very well, and then starting to distance themselves and practice "triangulation." This happens when they introduce you to someone else to make you jealous. It could be an ex-wife or ex-girlfriend, same-sex friend, or even a celebrity. In the mind of a psychopath, everyone wants him, so you have to behave with him or he will replace you with one of his worshipers.

  • “Abandonment”

The last phase of the psychopath is that of surrender. After inundating you with his devotion, and then devaluing you, he suddenly lets you down, as if you've never been together. Suddenly, you don't matter to him anymore. Usually that's when he replaces you with a new target.

  • “Suck you in”

Although a psychopath rejects you, they don't want you to move on. If he thinks he is, he will suddenly turn around, and start begging you to stay with him. He will try to "suck" you into him again by telling you everything you ever wanted to hear, make millions of promises, and behave perfectly with you again. But that's just one role he's playing to bring you back into his fold.

The only way to get rid of a psychopath is to have no contact with him. It’s the one thing that doesn’t feed his game, nor his ego. It's not going to make it easy for you. some psychopaths will harass you, most will try to "suck" you into them. But being in contact with him, if only to reject him, will leave the door open for him to manipulate you. And he will be the strongest in this game, since he doesn't feel a thing.

If he / she has some of these features, that doesn't mean you should reject him/her but you should probably be careful and pay attention.

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