• Paula M

Six habits that instantly kill your charisma

If today you're a little shy, you’re a person who doesn't have too much self-confidence, You are not very at ease with others and your social interactions, there is probably one of those mistakes that you’re making that is not in your favour.

These six habits below instantly kill your charisma. You'll need to remove them from your life as quickly as possible if you want to be respected by others and be more successful in your social relationships.

Trying to constantly impress others.

By trying to impress others, by verbalizing it, by saying "Ah yes, I did this..." this will demonstrate low social value, because someone who believes in himself and his interactions will not feel the needs to show the whole world all his achievements. He feels safe about it. On the opposite, someone who does not have confidence, who has insecurity, will try to prove his worth to the world because he needs the attention of others and external validation. Therefore, when you are in conversation, you feel the need to say something about yourself to enhance yourself, hold back, this urge, don't say it! If you are a talented person, who has done incredible things, someone who is ambitious, who takes action, who achieves his goals, people will know it in one way or another. On the other hand, the best way to let others know your achievements is in an indirect way, is when someone else is going to say how great you are... it shows a very high social value. People become aware of your values ​​without you say it. So remain humble in your conversations, avoid always talking about you again and again.

The shifty gaze

This is when you’re talking to someone, looking right to left, all over the place, not focusing on the person you are talking to, you are not looking them in the eye. This kind of look shows low social values, which means that you have a discomfort in the interactions and you don't have confidence in yourself. This instantly creates a climate of unease in the interaction. Others will feel uncomfortable with you. Therefore, it's really important when you're talking to someone to look the person in the eye. It shows that you believe in what you’re saying. It also demonstrates that you have confidence in yourself, and it gives your message more intensity and impact.

A “depressing”posture

Most People who feel bad about themselves will adopt this kind of posture. Just from their posture, we can understand how they feel inside. It is typically the gaze downcast, head down, shoulders drooping, lower jaw relaxed, back arched. This kind of posture, during your interactions with someone will immediately send out low social value, an image of someone who is not confident, who feels bad. Instead, control your position, get into the habit of evaluating it.

Having a voice that does not to come out

A voice that is blocked inside the throat. It’s generally the people who do not have a high self esteem, who aren't too sure what they're talking about that dare to speak with a real voice that comes out well that turns outward. When you want to have a charismatic voice there are a lot of things you can play with, for example: your rhythm, your intonations but the volume in my opinion is the most important one. The fact that your voice comes out towards the outside, towards your interlocutor is what will make the most difference so you have to start with that. Get into the habit of observing yourself on a daily basis, in a social interaction, Check if your voice comes out enough or on the opposite your voice is blocked and does not dare to come out too much. This does not necessarily scream either

Being “too nice” to others

Wanting to please others is very common among the shy, low self esteem people. They are in the logic that if I am « nice » with the others, inevitably the universe will thank me, others will be nice to me in return. Well, let me tell you, it doesn't work like that, it is not how it works human relations. If you're always nice to everyone, people might sooner or later take advantage of you, label you, you’ll be seen as a decoration. As soon as they need you, they ask you for a favor, and finally, you’re not more than that. Therefore, it is important to be able to set your limits, boundaries and be able to say no.

Criticize others in their back

First of all, you should know, if someone talks badly behind someone's back, there's a good chance they'll do the same to you. Beyond that, someone with a strong social intelligence, if they catch you criticizing someone in their absence, they will immediately label you as an untrustworthy person, a person who is bad from the inside out, a poisonous person to be kept as far away as possible. When you feel this urge in public, speak well of that person or keep your thoughts to yourself.

Those are the six easiest behaviours to remove from your life if you want to be more charismatic. Therefore, make a promise to yourself, starting today to remove all these habits from your life and you will see that your social life will be much better, people will respect you more, pay more attention to you.

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